Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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