Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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