Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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