Just took my morning after pill in the library
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
