took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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