The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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