But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
