If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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