She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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