If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize