Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
