I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
