she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize