When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Terrible idea I love it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
