it wasn't lemon gatorade
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
