Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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