Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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