Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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