i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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