Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
