Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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