i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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