So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize