They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
