Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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