I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
