I wish you could order shots online.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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