Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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