I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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