Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
