you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
