yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
