Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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