I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
