Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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