I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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