idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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