so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
