6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
