Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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