so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
