My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
