You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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