I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
