If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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