so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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