I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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