Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
