I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
