So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
