Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
only if we run a train.
done.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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