We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
And then he peed in my hair
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