Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
