quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
