yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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