He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
