i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
