You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
