I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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