Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
